Relationships and Changes: How About A Little Bit of Grace All Around

This is a sensitive topic for me to write about, but I think its something that should be addressed.

Let me start by saying that girl friends are a treasure. A sweet gift from God. So lets get away from the drama and stop treating each other like trash when our feelings get hurt!

Treating each other like trash? That's a little harsh. I would never do that. Ok, so maybe you don't cuss her out in front of the school -- but giving her the cold shoulder, purposely not including her in things, or even just being overly occupied with yourself or your other relationships can seem a little rude.

Below, I've thought of some things that may help both sides to be more sensitive to relationship changes. Please don't read the advice for the other side and use it to condemn your friend because she's not doing it. You can only change yourself and your attitude.

Ideas for Girls In Relationships: 

1. Make time for your girls. Not just scheduled time too. Spontaneous, ditch your boyfriend, ditch homework and responsibilities type of time and make sweet memories with your girlfriends. Just like old times.

2. Never, never, never cancel on a friend just because something better came up for you to do with your significant other.

3. Talk about it. Don't let your new relationship be the elephant in the room. Ask how your friend(s) are handling the change. Ask what you can do to make her feel supported and loved.

4. Make her/them a priority in your life. Whether the new relationship with your significant other leads to a breakup or a marriage -- you're going to need your girls. For emotional support, for advice, for someone to do girly things with. You don't want your bridesmaids to be bitter about standing beside you because you spend that last few years completely ignoring your relationship with them.

5. Be the one who plans co-ed group events. If things always used to be you and your girls, then it can be awkward always brining around your new boyfriend. Plan co-ed events where everyone can feel included and get to know one another.

6. Listen. Honestly ask your friends what they think of your new relationship. They probably know you better than anyone else and will be able to see red flags that you might not be aware of.

7. How about a little bit of grace? If your friend seems distant or angry because of the change,  give her a break. It's hard when all your friends are suddenly dating and you're not. Things are different. And adjusting to that change can take time.

When You're the One Who's Not In a Relationship: 

1. Make a point of getting to know your friend's new boyfriend. Let her know you are excited for her. Be supportive. It will mean the world to her.

2. Give Godly counsel. Be there for your friend when she needs you. You know her so well and you may recognize red flags before she does. Help and encourage her to  honor God in her new relationship.

3. Be proactive about making new friends. Especially if you friend doesn't have time for you. It's not the ideal situation, but its better than sitting around every weekend alone while your friend(s) are out on dates.

4. Suggest and plan coed group events where your friend can bring her significant other without it being awkward. Everyone can get to know each other better and it's great.

5. Fight bitterness and envy. Don't let it eat away at your spirit. Pray for protection from bitterness. It's a horrible disease.

6. How about a little grace? I know it feels like you've been ditched for some stupid guy. But remember, one day you might be the oblivious one. And you'll appreciate a little bit of grace from everyone.