What's weird is that, often I feel like I've overcome this overwhelming pride problem...and then it creeps right back into my life in different forms. Different symptoms, but the exact same disease.
Pride has manifested itself in my life in so many ways - envy, insecurity, judgmentalism, striving, arrogance...the list goes on.
But recently, I feel like this Pride has began to reveal itself in the worst of ways: a lust for the approval of others. Honestly, I just want people to like me. And I'm so easily willing to compromise for their approval. Usually it's subtle too...a negative comment or participating in a little bit of gossip. But more often it involves hiding. I hide who I am as a person and I hide my faith. My mask is that I live a life of secular, unreligious independence where I am smart, successful, and happy.
And that's just not true. My faith permeates almost every aspect of my life and my thoughts. And my highest goals in life are not success and happiness... my goals are to glorify God in everything I do.
My heart is sick, because pride is ruining my testimony. Because people see me when they look at me and not Christ.
I named this blog Reflect, because that truly is my heart...my battle cry really...that I would learn to Reflect Christ in all that I do.
So today I am truly grateful and accepting of the grace and forgiveness of God - because in my weakness He is made strong. I am wholeheartedly embracing the power of the Holy Spirit in my life, because this Pride thing is beyond my own power to overcome. Be He has Overcome.
