Husbands

Well interestingly enough, the first virtue in Feminine Appeal is loving my husband. Now, to be honest, I’m not exactly qualified to talk about this subject, because well, I’ve never been married before. However, the chapter still has some really good thoughts on Biblical femininity that apply to married and unmarried women alike. And if you are a woman who plans on getting married someday, then there are definitely attitudes that you can be cultivating and practicing now that will help you to love your husband (and other people in your life) better.

Biblical concept number one: trust God to give you the strength to obey His commandments. In Titus 2, women are instructed to love their husbands with Phileo love – this is the love between close friends of affection and respect (while husbands are commanded to love their lives with a self-sacrificial agape love). And in this commandment there is no contingency clause (except for the Biblical exceptions for divorce) – this means that God commands wives to love with a phileo love regardless of how their husband’s behavior as an act of obedience to God a wife brings honor to the Gospel. So, how can I practice obedience to God now, even though I am not currently married? Well first, I must remember that God will never command me to do something that he will not give me the strength or resources to do. If he says to tithe, then I must trust that if I do he will provide financially. If he says to love my enemies, He will give me the strength to do that. Regardless of circumstances, God will provide the strength – he will renew my soul when I am weary with obedience in difficult circumstances, provide the physical, emotional, and mental resources I need for any task he asks of me. The key is to trust and obey (hmm Sunday school song coming to mind right now).

Biblical concept number two: guard my heart from sin. This is necessary for loving not only a husband but anyone in your life. A heart that harbors anger, bitterness, criticism,… cannot love with the love of God. I must be aware of sin in my heart (and use my emotions as a warning systems for sin). Furthermore, awareness of the sin in my own life will lead to an attitude of humility before God and before others. I must repent of my own sin before I confront someone else (including my husband).

Finally, Biblical concept number three: cultivate good and tender thoughts. Philippians 4:8 says “ Whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.” As we see again and again in scripture, tender thoughts lead to tender actions. And this can be applied to husbands as well as others in our life. If those thoughts aren’t coming naturally, pray and ask God to change your thoughts – remember he does not command us to do anything we are not capable of doing because as Christians the Holy Spirit lives inside of us and empowers us to obey God and love others.

So, biblical femininity and being a Godly wife is not so much about what you do as a wife, but rather flows from an attitude of honoring and obeying God. I answer to God first and serving Him is my primary responsibility. And if I can serve God by loving others in my life then that is wonderful example to others of life that honors God.