Fallen

Sometimes I feel like I've fallen in a hole. Usually I find myself standing on unstable ground that eventually just caves in, other times I'm just walking along life, minding my own business and suddenly I step right into it, other times someone pushes me in. But it doesn't really matter how I actually got there, what matters is getting myself out once I fall in. But it's hard, really hard actually.

Yesterday I came home from work and I was planning to eat a mango that was in the fridge. Ok great. Whatever. The problem: it wasn't even ripe. Actually it was really hard and I couldn't even cut it. So annoying. Then there was no one home. And I didn't really have anything to eat for dinner. So I just watched TV and ate some berries that were in the freezer. Now usually I would go to the gym during this time but I was being rebellious. I'm but I'm not really sure who I was rebelling against. Then I went to my room feeling sad. And I was just really sad for the rest of the night and I'm not really sure why. I guess I just fell into a hole. After I fell in my attitude became negative and I really was not a very nice person to talk to or be around. It's stupid but I fell. I'm fallen.

I love the Psalms because many of them are about falling in a hole. And they are about relying on God to pull you out. On my worst days I must trust God's strength rather than my own and I am reminded of the power of God's grace in my life.

Psalm 139: 7-12
[7] Where shall I go from your Spirit?
Or where shall I flee from your presence?
[8] If I ascend to heaven, you are there!
If I make my bed in Sheol, you are there!
[9] If I take the wings of the morning
and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea,
[10] even there your hand shall lead me,
and your right hand shall hold me.
[11] If I say, “Surely the darkness shall cover me,
and the light about me be night,”
[12] even the darkness is not dark to you;
the night is bright as the day,
for darkness is as light with you.

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